i missed my old life, my old self...i miss the way i struggle and stumble to forces all around me. i was better before i can say, happier? i can feel, more inspired? i can tell, more determined? absolutely! i know i need to find more ways to re-evaluate what i want from what i need. when you're lost you tend to lose balance, scamper through the darkness and cry for desperation inside. the difficulty with this desperation is that you're not sure what really happened or what could have been wrong. suddenly you feel the surge of confusion and the need to balance, the need to cry and the need to pour it all out.
slowly i began assessing myself, asking basic questions but lately i wonder why the basic questions are always hard to answer or might be the answers are hard to accept. when you know you can do something out of it but still you don't know where to start or how to start.
i miss my old self because i know what i wanted and i focused on that, i am lost now because i did not prepare myself to these decisions and to plan further and to plan more. i was happier because i see results in my endeavors, i am not looking through my endeavors now because the choice of career is not what i wanted. i was more determined because i started in the right track, i am weak now because i can feel that nothing is certain and still i'm sitting in the corner feeling sorry for myself...
it sounds like you need to find out what you want to do with your life. maybe you need to define your purpose, what you really want to make out of your life, and go for it. 